not that it matters

I guess I haven't been online a lot at home and I haven't written for a while. Not that it matters I'm sure, its not like I have legions (like the disease???) of people reading my stuff. I don't know many people. And that is what is inspiring me to write this evening. I text messaged Jon the other day (the crazy one from california...he's "been in my life" for nearly 9 years so I don't want to cut him off completely for one fucked up belief). Basically it's what I always text him with when I'm feeling mopey and stuff. Will I ever have a boyfriend? Am I ugly? He texts back with 'give up on finding a guy for a while, go hang with the girls'. Which would be fine. Except I don't have 'the girls'. I have a Su, but that is totally different. I don't have a big group of friends. I don't even think I have a small group of friends. I don't even think the number of people I would consider friends adds up to be called a Group. I'll admit, I have been super mopey over the cop thing. To the point where I was thinking I may need some extra Mg's of my prozac. He really screwed me up big time...but its not like we had this long involved relationship or anything. If a cop can do something like that to his long time serious girlfriend, a non-cop could too. And what if I were that non-cop's long time girlfriend? I guess that's a non-issue though because Jon said to give up guys, which I'm assuming means I will never ever ever have another boyfriend and he never said I wasn't ugly, but he did point out how well the cop messed with my mind. But the cop never said I was ugly or ugly...that would be the travisOnline guy who keeps bugging me. I've Yahtzeed the situation. Accordingly, I will end up alone with just my cat (or cats).

I have been playing with my kitten, she's getting so big! I've been moping about being alone forever. And I have been having the STRANGEST dreams about guys who are minor acquaintances in my life. So I am asking anyone who reads this and/or cares to find me a date. Just one. So I can mostly prove to myself that I can socialize with a human and not just kittens and that I can remind myself that not all guys are out to screw with my head like the cop. Is this a bad request? I don't know any other way.